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My tears they fall like lead balloons;
My angst, it doth so fill me.
I see but only gloom and doom.
I think I’ll go and kill me.
My sighs they echo through the night;
I weep for all my sorrows.
I weep for my so wretched plight;
I’ll weep till this be morrow.
I am accursed upon the Earth;
All do loath and shun me.
I am the butt of people’s mirth;
Even my cat makes fun of me.
I lie upon my tear-stained bed;
I lie there and weep until
I count up all the tears I’ve shed,
Then I go watch Doctor Phil.